Drought-tolerant faith
We are pleased to welcome Amber McCall, as she shares her personal journey with RARE and her relationship with faith in our “Reflections on faith and spirituality” series. She details how her drought-tolerant faith has sustained her through difficult times and guided her to focus on gratitude and appreciation for the good things in life
By Amber McCall
If you are a gardener (and even if you’re not but passed third grade science) you know that it takes water to keep plants alive.
Have you ever seen a cross-section of soil for native plants in a prairie? It is incredible how deep their roots grow! Notice in the drawing above (which I modeled after an actual image of a soil cross-section) that they often have more biomass below the surface than they do above it.
I love caring for a garden and growing my own food. I believe there are a number of spiritual connections and insights we can draw from gardening but I love this example of native plants when thinking about how it should be with us and our spiritual walk. Our roots, what keeps us grounded, are the things we do to maintain our relationship with the Lord. Now, some of those things are certainly seen, but I would argue that the things that draw us closest into intimacy with the Lord are unseen: personal Bible study, remembering the times the Lord has been faithful (this can and should be done in public as well) and praying throughout the day.
It’s these things that we do that give us strength to endure the drought. If your roots go deeper, they are able to draw water even when it hasn’t rained in a while. When we are staying in the Word, praying and talking to the Lord consistently, and continually remembering when He has shown up in our lives, then we are close to Him and He is close to us. He tells us in Jeremiah 29:12-13 that we will find Him if we seek Him with all of our heart.
There are certainly the “above ground” or “seen” actions that can also keep us pursuing the Lord, like going to church, being in a community of like-minded believers and publicly worshipping Him. All of these matter as well and can continue to support us when we face trials. But, we know that Jesus is the living water and a personal relationship with Him is the only thing that can truly sustain us. Another place in Jeremiah that refers to this as well, Jeremiah 17:7-8 says, “The person who trusts in the Lord, whose confidence is the Lord, is blessed. He will be like a tree planted by water: it sends its roots out toward a stream, it doesn’t fear when heat comes and its foliage remains green. It will not worry in a year of drought or cease producing fruit.” (Bible, English Standard Version)
A beautiful thing about trials and hardship is that they draw us closer to the Lord as well. We realise even more our dependence on Him as our life-giving water. When we face challenging circumstances, we must recognise that we need the Lord to get us through, because we simply cannot do it on our own. Jesus tells us in the gospel of John that we will certainly face trials, which can be scary. Thankfully, He finishes that sentence, telling us to take heart because He has overcome the world!
In my life I have faced many trials, especially when it comes to my health. To name some of the bigger ones: I have had meningitis four times, had sepsis that almost killed me, endured multiple weeks in the hospital and had brain surgery when I was in my early 20s. On top of all of that, pain and discomfort have been my constant companions since as long as I can remember, as I have endured migraines almost 50% of my waking hours since kindergarten.
I have two rare diseases that are becoming less rare as doctors learn more about them and are therefore diagnosing more cases. The aforementioned symptoms have been caused by Chiari II malformation, and a lymphatic disease that now goes by several names: generalised lymphatic anomaly, Gorham’s Stout disease, disappearing bone disease or, as it was formerly known, Lymphangiomatosis (which is what it was called in 2011 when I was first diagnosed). This disease affects the lymph system of a growing baby in the womb and creates pockets of lymph that are disconnected from the rest of the lymph system and therefore cannot properly drain. The extra lymph deteriorates the bone structure (hence the name disappearing bone disease).
I was 23 years old when I got an official diagnosis, meaning I spent almost that many years trying to figure out what was wrong with me. Due to knee pain and frequent migraines, doctors did multiple MRIs, but those didn’t yield any clues until I had an MRI after five days in the hospital with a bout of viral meningitis (that was seemingly caused by a double ear infection). That’s when they discovered the Chiari and we determined the next best step would be surgery to try to relieve the pressure on my brain stem from my cerebellar tonsils hanging out of my skull about 10cm. Unfortunately, I did not gain relief from migraines as we had hoped, but I did avoid other terrible Chiari symptoms like dizziness, paralysis and nerve damage.
During the surgery to correct the malformation, they discovered that my spine was riddled with holes and looked like Swiss cheese. That’s honestly one of the last ways you want your bones to be described, I can assure you; it felt like something out of a Dr Seuss book rather than a post-op report. The surgeon shipped my bone sample off to a lab and the diagnosis of lymphangiomatosis was determined.
My response wasn’t one of fear but rather of relief. I knew the diagnosis wasn’t a surprise to the Lord and I was grateful to hear that my symptoms had a name and that everything I had experienced throughout my life was caused by something, albeit a terrible, incurable rare disease. I met a doctor who became a friend. I remember sitting, elated with Dr K as he nodded and confirmed that all of the symptoms I was describing were in fact from the newly-named culprit.
If you haven’t received a diagnosis yet, and are still dealing with an unknown disease, please be comforted in knowing that you’re not making it up and there are doctors out there who will believe you! Keep pressing to find the right ones! It’s frustrating and can be maddening at times, but be encouraged to persevere in finding the root cause of what you’re dealing with.
It was my drought-tolerant faith, and certainly the support of my family, that helped me remain joyful during that difficult pre-diagnosis time. Post diagnosis, I continue to rely on God to help me stay focused on the good things in life. Having a rare disease (let alone two) and debilitating pain, could very easily be a recipe for depression. Instead I choose to deal with the symptoms but not let them define me, to appreciate and cherish the times when I am not feeling sick and to remember to thank the Lord for healing me as He has.
Overall I am doing very well in regards to my symptom management. Migraines continue to affect about half of my days but I am able to manage the pain. I have to avoid repetitive motion, can’t play sports like I used to (but that’s partially due to my increasing age) and have to be very cautious about germ exposure. I take daily supplements and am cognisant of my diet to try to give my body what it needs to keep my immune system as healthy as possible. Whenever I attend an event, watch a movie or do something that requires my attention for an extended period of time, my preferred location is directly facing whatever I need to focus on. Over the years I have avoided starting any immunosuppressant drugs and am so thankful for that.
If you don’t have things that you do in your everyday schedule to build drought-tolerance in your faith, I encourage you to find what draws you closer to the Lord. Whether it’s spending time in the morning reading the Bible and praying or finding a community that encourages you in your walk. There are countless things you can do to have a stronger relationship with your Creator, but ultimately remember that He loves you and wants the best for you because He is a good father. Trust Him both in the good times and in the trials and you will come to realise that you can fully rely on Him.
